Taking Stock

Amelia is having her nap, Alex and Jamie are watching Mr Bean so I thought I'd take this quite moment to write my blog now, in the evening it's all very rushed and I'm constantly being interrupted and I never write the things I really want to.

The last few days I've been quite thoughtful. There's a big change going on in my life. I'm realising that I need to get my own head straight if I'm going to do things properly. I need to sort some things out from my past that were never dealt with, and I need to start feeling better about myself, and happy with myself, because I'm not at the moment. I have a vision of how I want my life to be, how I know it can be, I just need to take certain steps to get there.

I did feel reluctant to explain all this in my blog, because it's a blog about home education, I thought my feelings would be irrelevant, but then it occurred to me that being the mum, the main person responsible for my children, how I'm feeling is relevant because I need to be in the right place to help my children be in the right place, and to be able to gauge whats going on with them. Also, all parents whether they send their children to school or not will all have times in their lives where they need to put themselves first for a while.

So I've been taking stock of everything. Lately I've been spending too much time stressing out and worrying about things and feeling rubbish,  it's still the summer holidays, and we're still de-schooling, so I'm going to sort myself out for a bit.

I've also noticed after having my partner here today, how much things have changed since taking both of them out of school. I am much less controlling of the children these days, I'm seeing everything in a different perspective, it's ALL learning now, everything they do is learning. If it's something that they want to do, then I'll do my best to let them do it, because that's 'where it's at', if you know what I mean (not when it's impractical, too dangerous or will upset anyone else)  I'm really seeing that I used to say 'no' a lot more and I don't really know why.

It's SOOO hot today! I'm going to have to stop doing this blog now because my laptop appears to be over-heating!! Just got time to stick a photo on, Jamie took some temperature readings with out thermometer earlier -

28 degrees in the shade!!