I'm doing a quick blog this morning as I have tonnes to do and want to try and get an early night, if at all possible...
I've been struggling a bit lately, I feel a bit weird sharing this, but those who know me, know me, and those who don't, don't.
I've realised that I'm suffering from depression again, from not having any help or support from anyone ever since I had my first child, and all the struggles we've been through, I've not had any help, because my family are either too far away or just not really that interested, and I always shut myself off from everyone.
I know the depression isn't because I am weak, or not good enough, but because I'm trying to do everything all by myself, and obviously, I'm going to run into problems there.
This is all to do with getting myself sorted, what I mentioned in an earlier blog. I was kind of in denial about the depression, I'm excellent at hiding it. but the truth started creeping up on me, and I guess thats got to be a good thing, because now I can get some help.
I also don't feel that I can tell my family about it, because I know the first thing they'll say is "it's because you don't get a break from the kids, they need to go back to school" and I know that isn't true at all, but people not fully understanding of home education just see it like that. The first thing most people say when you tell them you're home educating is "Idon't know how you do it" being with the children all the time, they mean. Like these parents just want to get rid of their kids as soon as possible, like spending a long time with their own children is some kind of torture! But I never had a close family growing up, I felt sooo alone the whole time, and now I LOVE having my family around me! and I want to get as much of it as I can before they all go off into the big wide world. It seriously ISN'T my children making me depressed!! If anything, they cheer me up, they are all so sweet when I'm upset or sad and they give me hugs and try to cheer me up!
Anyway, enough about me.
We're going on holiday TOMORROW! The kids nan came round last night and gave them a £20 note to spend! Jamie spent the rest of the evening kissing hers! she also bought 2 wipe clean times table flash card sets, which they both were trying out last night, Alex gets confused with multiplying and adding, he started off good then went back to adding, but I'm sure he'll get there soon.
So we'll be packing and loading the car today, my mum is coming over to collect the rabbit and hamster and there is a lot of excitement, they keep stealing all the snacks that I bought for the journey!
OK, I'd better get on with it, at least today I only have the holiday to concentrate on, and it's sunny, it should be a better day :)